Shane Jesse Christmass

1951 Chairs With Hairpin Legs

Ingesting tabs was the method; mental breakdown was the crisis, but I did not know this, before I came across it as a problem. A good period of my life was now in a danger zone of auditory hallucination. Certain people popped up and down in front of me as apparitions. Geomagnetic fabrics pulsed inside my spine. Exhilarating stuff. I constantly admired people who took their own life. They are mesmerising. Brave sorts. Dr. Sauber was his name. He told me how he was forecasting earthquakes from a makeshift weather station under his office desk. Gravitational fields upon the earth’s axis. Some odd seismic events happening down in Brazil. The palaces were recycling all their oil canvasses, dispersing their holdings. We are now dealing in sincere apologies. An emotional bric-a-brac system. Several women on ride-on mowers. Physicians in illness. Our question time, not so long ago. Attack on the successive generations. Two women on motorbikes. A hollow man. A house. In addition, if Truman had not replaced Roosevelt, you wouldn’t now be eating dog excrement. Nineteen Fifty One Chairs — not One Thousand and Fifty One Chairs (this is an important distinction). A house full of partying humans. Ultimate death estimates in that amount of partying output. Partying in the countryside. Partying on a Tuesday. Police threatening us with de-generation. The fakes have made more fakes. I get that dose off. I had an amazing time on acid. The Earth’s de-generations endlessly based on part correlations. I turn the light on and off. I turn my laptop / tablet on and off. I turn ITunes on and off. I schlep the data around. Massive rates of heart disease. Unkind terms and conditions. A wartime-style mobilization now. I schlep my acid around — on and off. A house full of partying animals.


Shane Jesse Christmass is an Australian writer. He’s a member of the band Mattress Grave, and firmly believes that the future of the word, the novel, will be in synthetic telepathy. Most of his writing is archived at Luprara Publishing. He’s on the Editorial Board at Paroxysm Press, as well as editing the lit. journal Queen Vic Knives, and he welcomes your submissions, especially to the Queen Vic Knives.